So Long 2018, Hello 2019

2018 gave me many challenges. I can, however, look back on 2018 and find that there was much that I had overcome. Resolution are difficult, if not impossible, to keep since we tend to set them as such large ambiguous challenges.Rather than making resolutions I simply set goals for change, nothing big, just simple things that I can accomplish and build upon and then at the end of the year I can look back upon these with a sense of pride rather than feeling like I failed to keep a resolution.

The Coventry Carol

The Coventry Carol

Playlist ❤︎ In Loving Memory of Jonghyun

Remembering

"Life is a continuation of meetings&farewells. Because of that, I believe that we grow. Immediately, you will regret it, you will feel sad and you will cry but, We will meet again." JongHyun April 8, 1990 – December 18, 2017

Medical Cost!

It is nearing the end of the year and I reviewed my cost of living, not the COL that the government states but how much it has cost me to stay alive this year. It averaged out to about $315 per day for the medical cost. I average earnings of about $65 per day!

Feeling a Bit Like Scrooge & Grinch

I am the kind of person who wants the spirit of Christmas to last all year long. The joy of taking part in all the seasonal traditions has been something I have looked forward to each year. This year, however, I have not even placed one Christmas decoration. I have not baked any treats. I have not mailed any greeting cards. Why? Each day I tell myself that today will be the day that I get into the holiday spirit but then I wake up and the reality of the current health issues remind me that I have to take small steps and only do the necessary task. Alas holiday festivities are not on the short list. Depression, something that is common around the holidays, hits and even the sound of holiday music does nothing to break me free from this feeling. I am so tired of putting up the brave, smiling front since every time that I am ready to be happy the other C in my life grabs the attention. Give me a few days and I will get over it.. I always do.

진호(JINHO) - MAGAZINE HO #23 'Bohemian Rhapsody / Queen'

The Monster Under The Bed

People have called me brave and strong but the truth is I am a coward. I live every day/night as if the monster will get me. It has already taken my uterus and ovaries, my spleen, a section of my liver (at least that organ fights back), two sections of my spine (one replaced with synthetic and the other by donor), and most recently it has set its sight on lungs. So I am not brave or strong but I am stubborn.

Michelle Obama says her brother is still their mother's favorite

ONEW 온유 'Blue' MV

GOT7 "Miracle" M/V

MONSTA X ft. Gallant – Beautiful (Acoustic Duet Ver.) 4K | Official MV

Kim Feel - Like Being Shot

All I can say about this one is wow!

GQ Lee Dong Wook

One of my favorite Korean actors.

Update

Wow, it looks like forever since I posted on here and a lot has happened. The #1, being that I finished a course of chemo and have been given a few weeks off. The cancer is still showing its ugly self in scans and biopsy but for now seems to sluggish so we are in control.

I am tired and have a lot of pain but so far all is bearable.On the positive side, I have lost weight, and for me that was something I had been trying to do for years! Hair loss this time around was not as bad and the new hair growth seems to be coming in as white which I like.

I am still working and my employer has been very accommodating with my frequent time off request for treatment. I work from home and that makes things much easier.

The medical bills continue to grow at staggering rate but I am keeping up with quarterly payment and with a lot of help from the Gofundme that was set up by friends. Bless them.

LEE HONG GI（from FTISLAND）

Xia/Junsu!!!!!

BoA 보아 'Woman' MV

Help From Friends

During my long battle with cancer, I have received both emotional and financial support from family and friends. I am staggered, however, when financial aid is received from someone (individual or corporation) at times as anonymous funding. This past month there were two such payment and granted I know someone who works at each of the companies, it is still heartwarming to receive this kind of support. It helps to be able to go in for treatment without the added worry of the increasing debt. There is still a long way to go with the treatment (new surgery being discussed).

https://www.gofundme.com/Jackiocancerfund&rcid=r01-153911549988-5b2d22efafe9433e&pc=ot_co_campmgmt_w

Just fit my mood tonight!

(Elvis Presley) Can't Help Falling in Love - Sungha Jung - Cover Request

Cancer Sucks!

This battle is starting to tire me out mentally. Every time there is some good news, it seems to be followed by a "but" and news that brings back worries. Add to that the financial worries and there are days like today that life just does not seem worth living. When I open the billing statements that come at the end of every month, my heart starts to race and I can feel the BP rising. I look at my budget to see if there is anything that I can "borrow" from to be able to make at least a small payment against the ever growing medical debt. When I die, not even my life insurance will cover it.I wonder how others cancer survivors maintain their sanity through the battle.


Cancer Sucks!

I am Woman, hear me roar!

I am Woman, hear me roar! I am a warrior. I am a peacemaker.
I am Tigger. I am Pooh. I am Wise Old Owl. I am gloomy Eyore.
I am a shy violet, the bold tiger lily and the questioning daisy, loves me, loves me not.
I am a romantic. I am a realist. I am a republicrat.
I’m cool. I’m hot!
I am the surprise in the box of Cracker Jacks, the cherry on top of the ice cream sundae.
I am a fine Boudreaux. I am bubbly Champagne.
I am a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a mother and a grandmother.
I am a friend. I am a lover.
Anything else is still to be discovered.



I Will Not Let Cancer Beat Me.

The Battle Goes On

With A Little Help From My Friends I can Beat Cancer!

'Y Si Fuera Ella' Is The First Solo Song from JongHyun (SHINee) [The Kin...

The Battle Continues

With A Little Help From My Friends

Broadway Kids Against Bullying: I Have A Voice (performance video)

We are the world Korea Cover (위아 더 월드 코리아~!!)

I love when a friend shares a video with me and that starts the domino affect as I find other similar MV that I love.

[MV] W-Foundation - Together as One

Broadway United: We Are the World

Divers reveal extraordinary behind-the-scenes details of Thailand cave r...

[M/V] NU'EST W(뉴이스트 W) - Dejavu

SHINee 샤이니 '네가 남겨둔 말 (Our Page)' MV

The Fight Continues

A couple of weeks ago I had a scan and now I am set to me with the medical team to go over the results. There have been many ups and downs over the last few years and though I will admit that there were many days went I felt defeated, there were more days when the encouragement of family and friends gave me the strength to get back up and fight. I do not know what this next phase will entail but for now I can only get my mind focused on a win. 

With A Little Help From Friends!

Peter, Paul and Mary - Wedding Song "There is Love" (25th Anniversary Co...

"Wedding Song (There Is Love)" is a song written by Noel Paul Stookey in the fall of 1969 and first performed at the wedding of Peter Yarrow - Stookey's co-member of Peter, Paul and Mary - to Mary Beth McCarthy at St Mary's Catholic Church in Willmar MN: Stookey was best man at the ceremony which took place in the evening of October 18, 1969.



Stookey had written the song on a midnight flight between Peter, Paul and Mary concert dates in San Jose and Boston setting out to write a song for Yarrow's wedding which would convey Stookey's Christian convictions while respecting Yarrow's Jewish faith.



According to Stookey "the melody and the words [of "Wedding Song"] arrived simultaneously and in response to a direct prayer asking God how the divine could be present at Peter's wedding." (The first two lines of the song's second verse: "A man shall leave his mother and a woman leave her home/ And they shall travel on to where the two shall be as one", is largely a paraphrase of the text of Genesis 2:24: "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.") Believing he could not take personal credit for composing "The Wedding Song", Stookey set up the Public Domain Foundation which since 1971 has received the song's songwriting royalties for charitable distribution."

Peter, Paul and Mary - Blowing in the Wind

"Blowin' in the Wind" is a song written by Bob Dylan in 1962 and released on his album The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan in 1963. Although it has been described as a protest song, it poses a series of rhetorical questions about peace, war and freedom. The refrain "The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind" has been described[by whom?] as "impenetrably ambiguous: either the answer is so obvious it is right in your face, or the answer is as intangible as the wind".



In 1999, the song was inducted into the Grammy Hall of Fame. In 2004, it was ranked #14 on Rolling Stone magazine's list of the "500 Greatest Songs of All Time".

The Youngbloods - Get Together - 1967

Hear Me Roar!

I am Woman, hear me roar! I am a warrior. I am a peacemaker.
I am Tigger. I am Pooh. I am Wise Old Owl. I am gloomy Eyore.
I am a shy violet, the bold tiger lily and the questioning daisy, loves me, loves me not.
I am a romantic. I am a realist. I am a republicrat.
I’m cool. I’m hot!
I am the surprise in the box of Cracker Jacks, the cherry on top of the ice cream sundae.
I am a fine Boudreaux. I am bubbly Champagne.
I am a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a mother and a grandmother.
I am a friend. I am a lover.
Anything else is still to be discovered.

I will Not Let Cancer Beat Me!

Jackio Cancer Medical Fund

50 Mums | 50 Kids | 1 Extra Chromosome

5 year old Sophie Fatu - Fly Me To The Moon (Frank Sinatra)

Wow!!!

Naomi Wadler: "People have said that I'm too young to have these thought...

Steven Hawkins 8 January 1942 – 14 March 2018

Tissues handy!.

Holland talks about being K-pop’s first openly gay idol

은빈(EUNBIN) - 'Hands To Myself (Pole Dance)' (Performance Video)

Duckworth to Trump: I won't be lectured by draft dodger

(ENG) Theme song for the PyeongChang 2018 Olympic Torch Relay (ENG sub)

EXO 엑소 'Monster' Dance Practice

Still Fighting!

I am Woman, hear me roar! I am a warrior. I am a peacemaker. I am Tigger. I am Pooh. I am Wise Old Owl. I am gloomy Eyore. I am a shy violet, the bold tiger lily and the questioning daisy, loves me, loves me not. I am a romantic. I am a realist. I am a republicrat. I’m cool. I’m hot! I am the surprise in the box of Cracker Jacks, the cherry on top of the ice cream sundae. I am a fine Boudreaux. I am bubbly Champagne. I am a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a mother and a grandmother. I am a friend. I am a lover. Anything else is still to be discovered.

https://www.gofundme.com/Jackiocancerfund

(JONGHYUN) Lonely - Sungha Jung

HUMAN Extended version VOL.1

Me Too!

ERIC & Eddy & Sam - L-O-V-E / Marry You / Endless Love