Monday, December 31, 2018

So Long 2018, Hello 2019

2018 gave me many challenges. I can, however, look back on 2018 and find that there was much that I had overcome. Resolution are difficult, if not impossible, to keep since we tend to set them as such large ambiguous challenges.Rather than making resolutions I simply set goals for change, nothing big, just simple things that I can accomplish and build upon and then at the end of the year I can look back upon these with a sense of pride rather than feeling like I failed to keep a resolution.

Tuesday, December 18, 2018

Playlist ❤︎ In Loving Memory of Jonghyun

Remembering

"Life is a continuation of meetings&farewells. Because of that, I believe that we grow. Immediately, you will regret it, you will feel sad and you will cry but, We will meet again." JongHyun April 8, 1990 – December 18, 2017

Monday, December 17, 2018

[MV] Lavender ~ Full Version ~



JJ to help get through a tough day!

Friday, December 14, 2018

Medical Cost!

It is nearing the end of the year and I reviewed my cost of living, not the COL that the government states but how much it has cost me to stay alive this year. It averaged out to about $315 per day for the medical cost. I average earnings of about $65 per day!

Thursday, December 13, 2018

Feeling a Bit Like Scrooge & Grinch

I am the kind of person who wants the spirit of Christmas to last all year long. The joy of taking part in all the seasonal traditions has been something I have looked forward to each year. This year, however, I have not even placed one Christmas decoration. I have not baked any treats. I have not mailed any greeting cards. Why? Each day I tell myself that today will be the day that I get into the holiday spirit but then I wake up and the reality of the current health issues remind me that I have to take small steps and only do the necessary task. Alas holiday festivities are not on the short list. Depression, something that is common around the holidays, hits and even the sound of holiday music does nothing to break me free from this feeling. I am so tired of putting up the brave, smiling front since every time that I am ready to be happy the other C in my life grabs the attention. Give me a few days and I will get over it.. I always do.

"It's Beginning to look a lot like Christmas" by Johnny Mathis (Lyrics)

Sunday, December 9, 2018

The Monster Under The Bed

People have called me brave and strong but the truth is I am a coward. I live every day/night as if the monster will get me. It has already taken my uterus and ovaries, my spleen, a section of my liver (at least that organ fights back), two sections of my spine (one replaced with synthetic and the other by donor), and most recently it has set its sight on lungs. So I am not brave or strong but I am stubborn.

181130 에일리 (Ailee) - 인사 + 유앤아이 강남역 깜짝버스킹 폰직캠

Thursday, December 6, 2018