Wednesday, May 1, 2019

Broken & Beautiful





I never held my hand out and asked for something free

I got pride I could roll out for miles in front of me

I don't need your help, and I don't need sympathy

I don't need you to lower the bar for me



I know I'm Superwoman, I know I'm strong

I know I've got this 'cause I've had it all along

I'm phenomenal and I'm enough

I don't need you to tell me who to be



Can someone just hold me?

Don't fix me, don't try to change a thing

Can someone just know me?

'Cause underneath, I'm broken and it's beautiful



I'm broken and it's beautiful

I'm broken and it's beautiful

I'm broken and it's beautiful

I'm broken and it's beautiful



We're walking on the ocean, turning water into wine

We bury our emotion and pretend that we're just fine

The only way to live now is to know you're gonna fly

Don't listen to the lying liars and their lies



I know I'm Superwoman, I know I'm strong

I know I've got this 'cause I've had it all along

I'm phenomenal, I'm enough

I don't need you to tell me who to be



Can someone just hold me?

Don't fix me, don't try to change a thing

Can someone just know me?

'Cause underneath, I'm broken and it's beautiful



Hey, I'm broken and it's beautiful

I'm broken and it's beautiful

Hey, I'm broken and it's beautiful

I'm broken and it's beautiful (oh)



I'm tired (oh)

Can I just be tired? (just be tired)

Without piling on all sad and scared and out of time (oh)

I'm wild (wild)

Can I just be wild? (just be wild)

Without feeling like I'm failing and I'm losing my mind



Can someone just hold me?

Don't fix me, don't try to change a thing

Oh, someone just know me

'Cause underneath, I'm broken and it's beautiful



I'm broken and it's beautiful

I'm broken and it's beautiful

I'm

I'm broken and it's beautiful

It's beautiful, it's beautiful (it's beautiful)

It's beautiful, yeah, I'm broken and it's beautiful

It's beautiful, yeah, it's beautiful (it's beautiful)

It's beautiful, yeah, I'm broken and it's beautiful

Wednesday, April 17, 2019

Thursday, April 11, 2019

Sukiyaki Kyu Sakamoto FULL SONG ReEdit STEREO ReMix HiQ Hybrid JARichard...





On August 12, 1985, Sakamoto was aboard Japan Airlines Flight 123, on which he was heading to Osaka for an event. The plane crashed into two ridges of Mount Takamagahara in Ueno, Gunma which became the deadliest single-aircraft accident in history. A total of 520 people were killed in the crash, including Sakamoto.His body is interred at Chōkoku-ji Temple in Minato, Tokyo

ジェジュン (JAEJOONG 김재중) 「IMPOSSIBLE」(short ver.)

Friday, April 5, 2019

"ARE THERE NOT STILL FIREFLIES" by Lawrence Ferlinghetti



Are there not still fireflies
Are there not still four-leaf clovers
Is not our land still beautiful
Our fields not full of armed enemies
Our cities never bombed to oblivion
Never occupied by iron armies
speaking iron tongues
Are not our warriors still valiant
ready to defend us
Are not our senators still wearing fine togas
Are we not still a great people
Is this not still a free country
Are not our fields still ours
our gardens still full of flowers
our ships with full cargoes

Why then do some still fear
the barbarians are coming
coming coming
in their huddled masses
(What is that sound that fills the ear
drumming drumming?)

Is not Rome still Rome
Is not Los Angeles still Los Angeles
Are these really the last days of the Roman Empire

Is not beauty still beauty
And truth still truth
Are there not still poets
Are there not still lovers
Are there not still mothers
sisters and brothers
Is there not still a full moon
once a month

Are there not still fireflies
Are there not still stars at night
Can we not still see them
in bowl of night
signalling to us
our so-called manifest destinies?

"PITY THE NATION" (After Khalil Gibran) by Lawrence Ferlinghetti


Pity the nation whose people are sheep
   And whose shepherds mislead them
 Pity the nation whose leaders are liars
            Whose sages are silenced
  And whose bigots haunt the airwaves
 Pity the nation that raises not its voice
          Except  to praise conquerors
       And acclaim the bully as hero
          And aims to rule the world
              By force and by torture
          Pity the nation that knows
        No other language but its own
      And no other culture but its own
 Pity the nation whose breath is money
 And sleeps the sleep of the too well fed
      Pity the nation oh pity the people
        who allow their rights to  erode
   and their freedoms to be washed away
               My country, tears of thee
                   Sweet land of liberty!

Thursday, April 4, 2019

Sandeul and Hongki

입맞춤 kiss - 가창력 大폭발!!! 홍기x산들 - 흰수염고래♬.20190319

Monday, April 1, 2019

A LIttle Help From My Friends

https://www.gofundme.com/Jackiocancerfund&rcid=r01-155410386063-2e7a0b5e5e444473&pc=ot_co_campmgmt_w

Goodbye My Princess

I recently began watching a Chinese drama called Goodbye My Princess (Chinese: 东宫; pinyin: Dōng Gōng). It is based on the novel Eastern Palace by Fei Wo Si Cun; starring Chen Xingxu, Peng Xiaoran and Shawn Wei. It aired starting February 14, 2019 and ran until March 25,2019. It tells a story of a princess from a foreign land who has to marry the crown prince for political reasons.Peng Xiaoran plays Xiaofeng, the beloved ninth princess of Western Liang, who enters into a political marriage with Li Chengyin, the crown prince of the Tang Dynasty, played by Chen Xingxu. The latter has his own favourite concubine, and only agreed to this loveless marriage to secure his position as heir to the throne.It is later revealed that Xiaofeng had met Li Chengyin under the alias of Gu Xiaowu three years ago. He was on a secretive mission to conquer the western kingdoms, and used Xiaofeng to accomplish his goal. After finding out the truth, Xiaofeng jumped into the River of Forgetfulness, and Gu Xiaowu / Li Chengyin followed suit out of guilt, and perhaps also love. In the present-time, only Xiaofeng has regained her memories, and their heart-wrenching romance begins all over again. My dilemma now is that a friend who watched this in real time posted comments about the finale without warnings of "spoiler" and I now know the ending of the drama. In the past I have watched movies based on real life and ones based on books that I have read and watched knowing the ending but wanting to still see how the depiction of the story would unfold and do judge how well it matched with my ideas of the story. In this case I have not read the book and have been forming my opinions right along with the episodes as they aired for me. I am only at 15 of 52 and had to pause now to digest the information as to the ending and decide to I want to continue watching to that conclusion.

Sunday, March 31, 2019

【TVPP】 Chen(EXO) - Drunken Truth, 첸(엑소) - 취중진담 @King of Masked Singer





This is from a couple of years ago but with the recent release of a solo album I was drawn back to it. His voice is so beautiful with his high as well as low note transitions

Thursday, March 7, 2019

KEY 키 'I Wanna Be (Feat. 소연 of (여자)아이들)' MV





And he is now off to do his military service for 21 months.

Thursday, January 31, 2019

What if a City Were Designed by Trees?

What if a City Were Designed by Trees?: Seeing trees as sacred is not an anomaly, it’s the fact that our culture has somehow lost this fellowship that’s an anomaly. If trees are a keystone of our wellness, why not learn to listen to...

Wednesday, January 23, 2019

K.Will - I'm Not The Only One / Growing





One of the best voices in Korean music.

Wednesday, January 16, 2019

Sunday, January 6, 2019

With A Little Help From Friends

Fighting both medical and financial battle with 2019 goal to kick butt on both.#CANCER SUCKS!

Monday, December 31, 2018

So Long 2018, Hello 2019

2018 gave me many challenges. I can, however, look back on 2018 and find that there was much that I had overcome. Resolution are difficult, if not impossible, to keep since we tend to set them as such large ambiguous challenges.Rather than making resolutions I simply set goals for change, nothing big, just simple things that I can accomplish and build upon and then at the end of the year I can look back upon these with a sense of pride rather than feeling like I failed to keep a resolution.

Tuesday, December 18, 2018

Playlist ❤︎ In Loving Memory of Jonghyun

Remembering

"Life is a continuation of meetings&farewells. Because of that, I believe that we grow. Immediately, you will regret it, you will feel sad and you will cry but, We will meet again." JongHyun April 8, 1990 – December 18, 2017

Friday, December 14, 2018

Medical Cost!

It is nearing the end of the year and I reviewed my cost of living, not the COL that the government states but how much it has cost me to stay alive this year. It averaged out to about $315 per day for the medical cost. I average earnings of about $65 per day!

Thursday, December 13, 2018

Feeling a Bit Like Scrooge & Grinch

I am the kind of person who wants the spirit of Christmas to last all year long. The joy of taking part in all the seasonal traditions has been something I have looked forward to each year. This year, however, I have not even placed one Christmas decoration. I have not baked any treats. I have not mailed any greeting cards. Why? Each day I tell myself that today will be the day that I get into the holiday spirit but then I wake up and the reality of the current health issues remind me that I have to take small steps and only do the necessary task. Alas holiday festivities are not on the short list. Depression, something that is common around the holidays, hits and even the sound of holiday music does nothing to break me free from this feeling. I am so tired of putting up the brave, smiling front since every time that I am ready to be happy the other C in my life grabs the attention. Give me a few days and I will get over it.. I always do.

Sunday, December 9, 2018

The Monster Under The Bed

People have called me brave and strong but the truth is I am a coward. I live every day/night as if the monster will get me. It has already taken my uterus and ovaries, my spleen, a section of my liver (at least that organ fights back), two sections of my spine (one replaced with synthetic and the other by donor), and most recently it has set its sight on lungs. So I am not brave or strong but I am stubborn.

Thursday, December 6, 2018

Saturday, November 24, 2018

GQ Lee Dong Wook





One of my favorite Korean actors.

Sunday, November 18, 2018

Update

Wow, it looks like forever since I posted on here and a lot has happened. The #1, being that I finished a course of chemo and have been given a few weeks off. The cancer is still showing its ugly self in scans and biopsy but for now seems to sluggish so we are in control.

I am tired and have a lot of pain but so far all is bearable.On the positive side, I have lost weight, and for me that was something I had been trying to do for years! Hair loss this time around was not as bad and the new hair growth seems to be coming in as white which I like.

I am still working and my employer has been very accommodating with my frequent time off request for treatment. I work from home and that makes things much easier.

The medical bills continue to grow at staggering rate but I am keeping up with quarterly payment and with a lot of help from the Gofundme that was set up by friends. Bless them.

Friday, October 26, 2018

Thursday, October 25, 2018

Tuesday, October 9, 2018

Help From Friends

During my long battle with cancer, I have received both emotional and financial support from family and friends. I am staggered, however, when financial aid is received from someone (individual or corporation) at times as anonymous funding. This past month there were two such payment and granted I know someone who works at each of the companies, it is still heartwarming to receive this kind of support. It helps to be able to go in for treatment without the added worry of the increasing debt. There is still a long way to go with the treatment (new surgery being discussed).










https://www.gofundme.com/Jackiocancerfund&rcid=r01-153911549988-5b2d22efafe9433e&pc=ot_co_campmgmt_w

Saturday, October 6, 2018

Tuesday, September 25, 2018

Cancer Sucks!

This battle is starting to tire me out mentally. Every time there is some good news, it seems to be followed by a "but" and news that brings back worries. Add to that the financial worries and there are days like today that life just does not seem worth living. When I open the billing statements that come at the end of every month, my heart starts to race and I can feel the BP rising. I look at my budget to see if there is anything that I can "borrow" from to be able to make at least a small payment against the ever growing medical debt. When I die, not even my life insurance will cover it.I wonder how others cancer survivors maintain their sanity through the battle.


Cancer Sucks!










Saturday, August 25, 2018

I am Woman, hear me roar!

I am Woman, hear me roar! I am a warrior. I am a peacemaker.
I am Tigger. I am Pooh. I am Wise Old Owl. I am gloomy Eyore.
I am a shy violet, the bold tiger lily and the questioning daisy, loves me, loves me not.
I am a romantic. I am a realist. I am a republicrat.
I’m cool. I’m hot!
I am the surprise in the box of Cracker Jacks, the cherry on top of the ice cream sundae.
I am a fine Boudreaux. I am bubbly Champagne.
I am a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a mother and a grandmother.
I am a friend. I am a lover.
Anything else is still to be discovered.



I Will Not Let Cancer Beat Me.

The Battle Goes On

With A Little Help From My Friends I can Beat Cancer!

Wednesday, May 9, 2018

The Fight Continues

A couple of weeks ago I had a scan and now I am set to me with the medical team to go over the results. There have been many ups and downs over the last few years and though I will admit that there were many days went I felt defeated, there were more days when the encouragement of family and friends gave me the strength to get back up and fight. I do not know what this next phase will entail but for now I can only get my mind focused on a win. 






With A Little Help From Friends!

Friday, April 13, 2018

Peter, Paul and Mary - Wedding Song "There is Love" (25th Anniversary Co...





"Wedding Song (There Is Love)" is a song written by Noel Paul Stookey in the fall of 1969 and first performed at the wedding of Peter Yarrow - Stookey's co-member of Peter, Paul and Mary - to Mary Beth McCarthy at St Mary's Catholic Church in Willmar MN: Stookey was best man at the ceremony which took place in the evening of October 18, 1969.



Stookey had written the song on a midnight flight between Peter, Paul and Mary concert dates in San Jose and Boston setting out to write a song for Yarrow's wedding which would convey Stookey's Christian convictions while respecting Yarrow's Jewish faith.



According to Stookey "the melody and the words [of "Wedding Song"] arrived simultaneously and in response to a direct prayer asking God how the divine could be present at Peter's wedding." (The first two lines of the song's second verse: "A man shall leave his mother and a woman leave her home/ And they shall travel on to where the two shall be as one", is largely a paraphrase of the text of Genesis 2:24: "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.") Believing he could not take personal credit for composing "The Wedding Song", Stookey set up the Public Domain Foundation which since 1971 has received the song's songwriting royalties for charitable distribution."

Thursday, April 12, 2018

Peter, Paul and Mary - Blowing in the Wind





"Blowin' in the Wind" is a song written by Bob Dylan in 1962 and released on his album The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan in 1963. Although it has been described as a protest song, it poses a series of rhetorical questions about peace, war and freedom. The refrain "The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind" has been described[by whom?] as "impenetrably ambiguous: either the answer is so obvious it is right in your face, or the answer is as intangible as the wind".



In 1999, the song was inducted into the Grammy Hall of Fame. In 2004, it was ranked #14 on Rolling Stone magazine's list of the "500 Greatest Songs of All Time".

The Youngbloods - Get Together - 1967

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Hear Me Roar!

I am Woman, hear me roar! I am a warrior. I am a peacemaker.
I am Tigger. I am Pooh. I am Wise Old Owl. I am gloomy Eyore.
I am a shy violet, the bold tiger lily and the questioning daisy, loves me, loves me not.
I am a romantic. I am a realist. I am a republicrat.
I’m cool. I’m hot!
I am the surprise in the box of Cracker Jacks, the cherry on top of the ice cream sundae.
I am a fine Boudreaux. I am bubbly Champagne.
I am a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a mother and a grandmother.
I am a friend. I am a lover.
Anything else is still to be discovered.


I will Not Let Cancer Beat Me!

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Thursday, January 11, 2018

Still Fighting!

I am Woman, hear me roar! I am a warrior. I am a peacemaker. I am Tigger. I am Pooh. I am Wise Old Owl. I am gloomy Eyore. I am a shy violet, the bold tiger lily and the questioning daisy, loves me, loves me not. I am a romantic. I am a realist. I am a republicrat. I’m cool. I’m hot! I am the surprise in the box of Cracker Jacks, the cherry on top of the ice cream sundae. I am a fine Boudreaux. I am bubbly Champagne. I am a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a mother and a grandmother. I am a friend. I am a lover. Anything else is still to be discovered.
https://www.gofundme.com/Jackiocancerfund

(JONGHYUN) Lonely - Sungha Jung

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

Monday, January 8, 2018

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Friday, October 13, 2017

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Hope

If the entire history of mankind were condensed into a single year, our knowledge of how to destroy life on earth with weapons of mass destruction has been acquired in the last thirty seconds. Never again will we lack the knowledge to eliminate the world in a single act of madness. Therefore, we are faced with a dilemma unique in our history. We must not only control the weapons that can kill us, we must bridge the great disparities of wealth and opportunity among the peoples of the world, the vast majority of whom live in poverty without hope, opportunity or choices in life. These conditions are a breeding ground for division that can cause a desperate people to resort to nuclear weapons as a last resort. Our only hope lies in the power of our love, generosity, tolerance and understanding and our commitment to making the world a better place for all... -- Muhammad Ali

Thursday, September 7, 2017

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

Be The Good Customer

For the last couple of years I have worked as a supervisor for home agents for a large catalog company. During that time I have heard some complaints (as well as having experienced a few of the situations) so here is my list of how to be the much loved phone order customer: Be prepared. Have pen/pencil and paper on hand to jot down any information that you need so that the CSR does not have to hold (and all the other waiting customers) while you search for said items. Make sure to read the description of the item that you want so you do not waste time asking for information that is clearly stated in the product description. Okay to ask for more details but when item is listed with no color options, do not ask if you can get it in another color, etc. Know the item # and how to find the number. Know your size. Measure and compare to the company’s sizing chart. If you want to know if the item runs larger or smaller rather than true to size it will be stated in the description. Be in a quiet place. Barking dogs, screaming kids (or spouse), loud TV makes it very hard to hear your order. Speak up and enunciate, clarify like sounding letters (A as in apple, etc) Do not over talk the order taker when they are asking or giving you information as most order systems require that information is input in a specfic order. If sending the item to another person, be sure to have their address, and phone number. Again so that others do not have to wait while you seek the information. Read the s&h information so that you are not surprised at the charge. Note if there is a size/weight charge from the carrier for the item. Have your payment information on hand. If you are offered upsell items, be polite if refusing. This is part of the CSR’s job and there just might be something on that night’s sale list that you want and can get at a savings. No standing in long lines on Black Friday! CSRs remember the customer who caused them stress and you want to be known as the very welcome customer. You might even find that you are given some little extra perks for being pleasant.